Author unknown
In 1960, television standards were much different from today. Current TV viewers may see seriously steamy romantic scenes and gore to rival any R-rated horror movie, and hear language that would have shocked prior generations. But early television was much tamer: no steaminess, goriness or profanity allowed – and neither was a joke about a toilet, even if you called it a “W.C.” (that’s “water closet” for you younger readers who may be unfamiliar with the term).
Jack Paar was the king of late-night when he made just such a joke. Late-night TV has always pushed the boundaries, and Paar's joke – about confusing a water closet with a wayside chapel – was a fairly gentle push. But the censors cut it from the broadcast anyway.
Paar was not happy with the omission. When he realized that the joke had been cut and was never going to run, he left the show. Not after a long struggle with the network… not with an announcement that he'd be retiring… he just picked up and walked off the set in the middle of an episode, stating, "There must be a better way of making a living than this."
Paar left his announcer to complete that night's broadcast, and he stayed gone for almost a full month. When he did return, he went on like nothing had ever happened – but it had. Paar was, by his own admission, highly emotional, and the incident affected him. So did the effort of putting on a daily 105-minute show. Two years after the walkout, Paar left again, for good – though the audience and the network were prepared for it this time. He was replaced by the next late-night star, Johnny Carson.
Here's the joke:
An English Lady, while visiting Switzerland, was looking for a room and she asked the schoolmaster if he could recommend any. He took her to see several rooms and when everything was settled, the lady returned to her home to make final preparations to move. When she arrived home, the thought suddenly occurred to her that she had not seen a "W.C." (Water Closet; Toilet) around the place. So she immediately wrote a note to the schoolmaster asking him if there was a "W.C." around. The schoolmaster was a very poor student of English, so he asked the parish priest if he could help him in the matter. Together they tried to discover the meaning of the letters "W.C." and the only solution they could find for the letters was a "Wayside Chapel". The schoolmaster then wrote the following note to the English Lady:
Dear Madam:
I take great pleasure in informing you that the "W.C." is situated nine miles from the house in the center of a beautiful grove of pine trees surrounded by lovely grounds. It is capable of holding 229 people and it is open on Sundays and Thursdays only. As there are a great number of people expected during the summer months, I would suggest that you come early, although there is usually plenty of standing room. This is an unfortunate situation particularly if you are in the habit of going regularly.
You will, no doubt, be glad to hear that a good number bring their own lunch and make a day of it. While others, who can afford to go by car, arrive just in time. I would especially recommend your Ladyship to go on Thursday when there is an organ accompaniment. The acoustics are excellent, and even the most delicate sounds can be heard everywhere. It may interest you to know that my daughter was married in the "W.C." and it was there that she met her husband. I can remember the rush there for seats. There were ten people to a seat usually occupied by one. It was wonderful to see the expressions on their faces.
The newest section is a bell donated by a wealthy resident of the district. It rings every time a person enters. A bazaar is to be held to provide plush seats for all since the people feel that it is a long felt need. My wife is rather delicate so she can't attend regularly. It is almost a year since she went last. Naturally, it pains her very much not to be able to go more often. I shall be delighted to reserve the best seat for you, if you wish, where you will be seen by all. For the children, there is a special time and place so that they will not disturb the elders.
Hoping to have been of some service to you, I remain,
Sincerely yours,
The Schoolmaster
PS: IF there is anything else that troubles you be sure to ask. I shall not hesitate to answer as best I can.
After reading the letter, the English lady decided that she had better find another room.