Alexander Theroux | Published: Esquire Magazine; How To Get Old And Do It Right
Apr 1975, pg 78/79
Reduced here are the eight basic rules for your consideration:
RULE 1: STAND UP STRAIGHT
...it may hurt, but it must be done.
Rule 2: MIN YOUR GERONTIC ZONE
...for men, get the hair in your ears trimmed;
for women, wear sleeves
...at some energty-consuming and interesting activity
Rule 4: NO COSMECTIC DEVICES
...perpetual youth is for those under 55
Rule 5: LEARN TO NARRATE
...good anectotes persuade us that the good old days
like our own, were full of stupidity, sexual misconduct
and general wickedness.
Rule 6: RAGE, DON'T WHINE
...it's useful to know the difference.
Whining is subjective; raging is objective.
If Harry S Truman would have said what you're about to say,
it's raging.
Rule 7: EMBRACE WINTER
...every senior should enjoy two full months of cold and snow.
Remember, the death rate in Florida is twice what it is in Alaska.
Rule 8: ACQUIRE A BIG EGO
...egotism at fifty makes a tyrannt; at seventy,
it makes a mensch.